Can we talk about the most underrated part of intimacy?
Massage.
Not the quick “rub my shoulders for 11 seconds and then ask if I’m relaxed” kind 😅
I mean the slow, intentional, make-your-entire-body-melt kind.
Because massage shouldn't just be "nice" it can also be sexy.
It helps your body shift out of stress mode and into pleasure mode.
When your nervous system feels tense, distracted, or rushed, arousal can feel harder to access. Your body may technically be there… but your brain is still thinking about work, laundry, texts, dinner, and the 47 tabs open in your head.
Massage gives your body a reset button.
👉 It creates warmth.
👉 It builds anticipation.
👉 It gets blood flowing.
👉 It helps you feel present.
Here’s the trick:
Don’t treat massage like a pit stop on the way to sex.
Treat it like the main event for a few minutes.
Start with warm hands, slow pressure, and a good massage oil or body-safe glide so it feels smooth instead of awkward and draggy.
Need somewhere to start?
Try these three techniques:
1. The slow shoulder melt
Start at the tops of the shoulders and use your thumbs to make slow circles where tension usually sits. Keep the pressure steady, not aggressive. The goal is “mmm,” not “physical therapy appointment.”
2. The lower back sweep
Place both hands on the lower back and slowly glide outward toward the hips. Repeat a few times, then use your palms to make gentle circles around the hip area. This is great for relaxing the body and building anticipation.
3. The thigh tease
Use long, slow strokes from the knee up toward the upper thigh, then stop before getting too obvious. Repeat on both sides. It feels intimate, flirty, and keeps the whole thing from feeling rushed.
And please… don’t go straight for the obvious places 👀
The best teasing happens when you don’t rush.
Pay attention to breathing, little sounds, and where their body relaxes.
That’s where the good stuff is.
And if you’re solo? Same rule applies.
A few minutes of self body massage before play can help you feel more connected, less rushed, and way more turned on before you ever reach for a toy.
So tonight’s homework:
Turn down the lights.
Warm up the oil between your hands.
Take your time.
Your body likes a slow build.
And honestly… so does pleasure.
Here are the massage must haves I recommend:
If you like organic, you'll love this massage oil
If you enjoy feeling like you're at the spa, you'll love this oil
If you know the massage is going to turn into something more, I recommend this
Or if you are just someone who loves a good old massage candle, this is my go to
Get out of your head and into relaxation. You'll thank me later. Cheers! xo